Glen Weldon, Writr

browsethestacks: Vintage Comic - Action Comics #289 (CGC) Best...

Tue, 21 May 2013 09:36:33 -0400

Vintage Comic - Action Comics #289 (CGC)

Best not to dwell on it, Kara.

Admittedly, this one doesn’t carry the same degree of DEEP...

Fri, 17 May 2013 14:04:00 -0400

Admittedly, this one doesn’t carry the same degree of DEEP HURTING as the Jerry Sloan ad, but here’s another PSA belonging to the 70s-Sports-Figure-Meets-The-Man-Of-Steel-And-Encourages-Him-To-Join-The-Air-Force genre.

Note that Denny Miller — the actor under all that shoe polish — knocked around TV a lot in the 60s and 70s, playing a series of entitled jocks (his IMDB page is rife with names like “Moose,” “Tank,” “Butch,” and “Duke.”) Perhaps his most memorable role, however, was “Tongo the Ape Man” on an episode of Gilligan’s Island.

He’s arguably a bit more at-ease with the role than Lupus was, though the whole thing still plays like a wacky skit the boys in Marketing whipped up to kick off the annual sales meeting in Tulsa, if you know what I mean.

hodgman: browsethestacks: Muhammad Ali, Hulk Hogan, Cyndi...

Thu, 16 May 2013 22:21:09 -0400

hodgman:

browsethestacks:

Muhammad Ali, Hulk Hogan, Cyndi Lauper, Liberace And Wendi Richter

Your first look at @JossActual ‘s new prequel series “Avengers: 1984”

tompeyer: You turned my brain human! Good dog. Gooood dog.

Thu, 16 May 2013 15:22:26 -0400

tompeyer:

You turned my brain human!

Good dog. Gooood dog.

In which I discuss a possible Man of Steel spoiler

Thu, 16 May 2013 08:33:53 -0400

benito-cereno:

It really depends on your definition of a spoiler. Plus it’s in magazines and stuff? But still, if you want to be 100% surprised, maybe you shouldn’t

Read More

browsethestacks: jeanjeanie61: Noel Neill - ‘Superman’ -...

Tue, 14 May 2013 21:59:08 -0400

browsethestacks:

jeanjeanie61:

Noel Neill - ‘Superman’ - 1948

http://www.xpresszo.com/blog/filmnoirphotos

.

In his later years, Zack Morris would often silence his demons by slipping back into the comforting embrace of his Season 1 drag persona, Bambi.

browsethestacks: susiesnapshot: Patrick McGoohan in The...

Tue, 14 May 2013 19:34:54 -0400

browsethestacks:

susiesnapshot:

Patrick McGoohan in The Prisoner, 1967.

.

WHERE AM I?

In the Village.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Information.

WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?

That would be telling.

MY EYEBROWS - YOU SEEN ‘EM? ANYWHERE? AROUND?

cracked: Do we really want an incorruptible, nice guy...

Tue, 14 May 2013 16:04:00 -0400

cracked:

Do we really want an incorruptible, nice guy superhero?

3 Reasons It’s So Hard to Make Superman Interesting

Go, read. I’ll be here when you get back.

Let me start off by making it clear that I agree with this guy’s basic premise.

It is resolutely true that for many people — including about 85% of those who approach you when they find out you’re writing a book called SUPERMAN: THE UNAUTHORIZED BIOGRAPHY — the character is “boring,” “a stiff,” “too perfect,” “not relatable,” etc.

And what I’ve been saying to those people is pretty much Bowie’s thesis — which let’s note is a bit more nuanced than “SUPERMAN IS BORING LOLZ.” No, what he’s actually saying is: Superman is difficult to write stories about. And he’s right.

I don’t think, however, that the point he makes in “Reason 1” — that Superman in isolation is not interesting, because he’s too perfect — carries much weight. For the simple reason that no one writes about Superman in isolation. No one writes about Batman, Spider-Man, Achilles, Gatsby, Dracula, or Pippi Longstocking in isolation, either. Fiction, even superhero comics, is always about relationships — relationships that exist to delineate your main character.

His “Reason 2” — that Superman without his powers isn’t Superman — is, I’d humbly suggest, wildly, egregiously, astonishingly, incandescently and provably wrong. Superman’s powers do not define him — they aren’t what make him a hero, any more than a firefighter’s fire-retardant gear make him or her a hero. Over and over and over again, in every media that delivers Superman to us, we have seen that his selflessness and determination — not the powers, the costume, the spit curl, the secret identity, the flying dog — are what make him Superman.

Bowie gets closest to why it’s so difficult to make Superman compelling in what he calls “Reason 3” — though I’d state it slightly differently: In writing fiction, you add tension and interest by keeping your characters from getting what they want in a variety of ways.

But surely it’s tough to keep Superman from getting what he wants, right? With the super-strength and the super-ventriloquism and whatnot?

Wrong. It’s very easy to keep Superman from getting what he wants, and tell exciting, gripping stories about him. A writer just needs to have a good feeling for what drives him, what he wants more than anything else. And here’s what Superman wants:

He wants to save everybody.

He wants no one to die or suffer, no matter the cost to himself.

Which is impossible. Unattainable. Even for him, even with all his abilities. THIS, we can maybe understand? THIS, we can maybe relate to? This inability to achieve what we most want, and the resulting desire to keep chasing it? This is why the best Superman stories deal not with him being robbed of his powers, but with him dealing with their very real limitations.

Because, as Bowie states, there IS a character from Greek myth that corresponds to Superman. He just got the wrong one. It’s not Diomedes. It’s not Achilles.

It’s Sisyphus.

tompeyer: Like, Happy Mother’s Day

Sun, 12 May 2013 07:33:24 -0400

tompeyer:

Like, Happy Mother’s Day

This is Krypto. He is Awesome. These are Facts.

Fri, 03 May 2013 13:35:00 -0400

Over on Slate, I wrote a semi-fictionalized account of a conversation I had with my editor during the writing of Superman: The Unauthorized Biography, in which I lose my valiant fight to devote several pages of the book to the arrant awesomeness that is Krypto.

I can understand Normals not getting Krypto. I mean I pity them, but I understand them.

What I don’t understand — what I will never understand — is how people who love comics could find the notion of a flying, super-strong, heat-visioned dog in a cape anything but awesome.

It’s the kind of idea a kid would have — wildly impractical, silly, nonsensical, an idea that implicitly asks the reader to stop taking superheroes so damn seriously. To lighten up, Francis.

In a very basic way, Krypto is comics. He — and they — are awesome.

Object of My Affection. And Nerd Rage.

Thu, 02 May 2013 12:03:55 -0400

I promised myself that if I sold my next book, I’d celebrate by scouring the e-bays and e-coves and e-estuaries for this little sucker, so as to reunite us after almost 35 years apart. I mean, feast your eyes on that hunk of gorgeously extruded plastic.

That right chere is the JANEX Batman Talking Alarm Clock, produced in 1974. Throughout my boyhood, this clock (well, not THIS clock, but its cousin) sat on my bedside table, a grim sentinel keeping its lonely vigil over my sleeping form, zealously guarding me from things like sports and friends.

I loved it. And it pissed me the hell off.

I loved it because BATMAN!

It pissed me the hell off because: Well. You got a minute?

It was a talking alarm clock, which meant that instead of anything so crude and un-Batmanlike as a bell, it roused young Glen from slumber with a pre-recorded playlet on endless loop, which imprinted itself on my frontal lobe, thus:

“[POLICE SIREN]

ROBIN: Jumpin’ Jehosaphat, Batman! We’re NEEDED again!

BATMAN: Right, Robin. We have to wake our friend.

ROBIN: Golly, gee, Batman! I’ll make the call!

BATMAN: Okay, Robin. Sound ‘em all!

ROBIN: Time to get up and out of bed!

BATMAN: Good boy, Robin. Very well said.

[POLICE SIREN]

[REPEAT]”

…

… I mean, where to start?

How about we start with JUMPIN’ JEHOSAPHAT, BATMAN.

Which is, let’s just soberly note here, NOT A THING ROBIN SAYS.

Because ROBIN IS NOT GABBY HAYES IN TREASURE OF THE SIERRA GODDAMN MADRE. No, he is the Boy Wonder. And he’s got a gimmick. A verbal gimmick. A thing by which he is known.

He says, “Holy ___, Batman!” where “____” is whatever’s at hand: “Holy Priceless Collection of Etruscan Snoods!,” say.

THAT. That is what Robin says. Not, “Jumpin’ Jehosaphat.” Christ. I mean, I suppose we should count ourselves lucky they didn’t have him say “Oh My Stars and Garters, Batman!” or whatever the fuck. But still.

Oh, hey, he’s got another line. I’m sure it’s more in keeping with the ONE piece of characterizing detail that he’s ever been wait holdup what’d he just say?

“GOLLY GEE, BATMAN?”

What. Why.

And Batman, don’t look all smug over there. I’ve got issues with you as well, mister. Because “Sound ‘em all?” What does THAT even mean? Who says “Sound ‘em all?” WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, MAN.

Oh, and way to patronize the hell out of your trusty sidekick, there. “Very well said.” Prick.

And while we’re at it, kindly explain to me why you are:

1. Running alongside the Batmobile.

2. Allowing a ten-year-old boy to drive said Batmobile.

3. In England now, apparently and also WHY IS THE BATMOBILE MAGENTA?

…

So. Yeah. That’s why it pissed off tiny, tow-headed, Keane-eyed me.

Because seriously “Jumpin’ Jehosaphat.” Every morning a dagger.

But anyway: Yesterday I sold my next book, “THE CAPED CRUSADE: THE RISE OF BATMAN AND THE TRIUMPH OF COMIC BOOK CULTURE,” to Simon and Schuster. It won’t be a quasi-encyclopedic deep dive into the character, like the Superman book was. It’ll be much more of a think piece, with a wider focus, in which I’ll examine how and why comics — superhero comics in particular — came to be embraced by the mainstream (for good and ill), and argue that Batman was the catalyst who made it possible.

This morning, I checked various auction sites for one of these Batman Talking Alarm Clocks. What better way, I thought, to remind me of the book’s deadline?

None of the ones I found can still play the alarm message that started every single day of my young boyhood off with a bout of nerdy vexation.

I should probably just buy one and be thankful I don’t have to listen to those (sniff, sniff) lazily off-model characterizations.

But … I am a nerd. And pointless outrage over things that do not remotely matter is … kind of our thing.

I’ll keep looking.

We Interrupt All This Superman Stuff For Some Comics Stuff. (Shut Up. It's Different.)

Wed, 01 May 2013 11:54:49 -0400

This Saturday, May 4th, is Free Comic Book Day.

For the past five years, I’ve written an FCBD Guide for the Perplexed for the NPR Pop Culture blog, Monkey See.

Here’s this year’s, which attempts to match different prospective FCBD customers to the comics best suited to them.

Kids, get some safety scissors and ask your parents’ help to clip the blog post out of your computer monitor.

Cover art and lyrics from the 1977 Barbra Streisand album,...

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 18:33:03 -0400

Cover art and lyrics from the 1977 Barbra Streisand album, Superman.

Producers of the Richard Donner film Superman: The Movie seriously considered Streisand for the part of Lois Lane.

Liza Minelli, too.

Just sort of … marinate in that for a moment, why don’t you.

“Easily the most ignominious pseudo-tie-in, however, was...

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 09:17:16 -0400

“Easily the most ignominious pseudo-tie-in, however, was the disco song “Superman” released by Ceci Bee and the Buzzy Bunch, which went to #3 on the Billboard dance chart and later became a more modest hit for Herbie Mann.” - From Superman: The Unauthorized Biography, Chapter 8 “1978: The Year of Superman,” p. 172.

(DO NOT CONFUSE this song with the Barbra Streisand ballad of the same name, and the same era. Very very different. Carries its own unique kind of hurting. I’ll get to that.)

I could only sample a tiny bit of the Ceci Bee lyrics for the book, but you really need to see/hear them, because ow.

“Superman, you make me feel

I’m the queen of world

Superman, you make me feel

So special when you move me

Up and down and round

You get so deep inside and, wow

You warm me up, it’s super

Then I wanna shout

Again and again

Superman-man-man-man

I love you Superman-man-man-man

Do it to me Superman-man-man-man

I need it Superman-man-man-man”

… It just … goes on like that.

jordanmorris: The Adventures of Superpup I’m reading Glen...

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 14:21:22 -0400

jordanmorris:

The Adventures of Superpup

I’m reading Glen Weldon’s GREAT new book Superman: An Unauthorized Biography. It details almost every Superman comic/show/movie/etc ever released. Easily the weirdest is this unaired pilot, The Adventures of Superpup featuring little people in giant puppet-dog heads. Prepare for nightmares.

Publisher’s Weekly, schmublisher’s schmeekly. This is my favorite endorsement. Woo. Also: The Adventures of Superpup is indeed bananapants.

From Superman #330 (December 1978): “The Master Mesmerizer...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 10:05:21 -0400

From Superman #330 (December 1978): “The Master Mesmerizer of Metropolis!”

“Apparently, my power of super-hypnotism is always working - at low power - even when I’m not willing it! It automatically projects my subconscious desire to be seen as a weaker and frailer man than I really am! ….

Some unknown property of the Kryptonian Plexiglass [in my eyeglasses] must intensify the low-level effect of my eyes! So when people look at Clark, what they see is the image of Clark I try to project!”

Okay? There’s your answer, haters. It’s a kind of … ambient Jedi mind trick.

On the population at large.

Without their consent.

Which makes Clark Kent look like David Brinkley.

Because, sure.

Superman is 75 Years Old Today

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 02:47:43 -0400

And I wrote a briefish precis of Superman: The Unauthorized Biography for The New Republic. Functions as a sort of executive summary for the book, really.

Got to include some images I only mention in the book — different depictions of Superman razing slums over the years. In those three images, you see his transformation from challenger of the status quo to its mightiest representative.

But you should still buy the book. You should buy two, in case one breaks. Three, in case one breaks and you need something to press leaves into.

It burns.

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 07:46:17 -0400

It burns.

jamesurbaniak: Please enjoy the premiere episode of Eric...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 19:25:48 -0400

jamesurbaniak:

Please enjoy the premiere episode of Eric Martin’s “This American Wife” web series featuring me as an NPR host with issues.

This is the best thing in the long and storied history of things.

beforevfx: Superman Returns

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 07:05:31 -0400

beforevfx:

Superman Returns